Swell Sweets & Suedes
Not so long ago, dearest Amaia, my housemate from Spain, had meddled haggis with Huggies – not a very tasty combination.
On her long and winding road to the British Epitome of Cuisine, after having cleared the haggis hurdle, she decided to subdue swedes. No, not the Nordic native. We’re dealing with veggies here – you know one of your infamous ‘five-a-day’ food portions. As Merriam & Webster parsimoniously puts it, it’s chiefly British meaning that the use of swede as a member of the Brassicaceae family (as opposed to a tall strapping blond chap) pertains to the domain of British English, a somewhat obscure subset of the English language which mingles pavements with sidewalks and whatnot.
Again, this episode unraveled itself in the comfort of her four-wheeled contraption as we sped, Pierre, Amaia, and I, to work. Pierre, our Frenchman from the North, was enumerating the essentials that tend to keep haggis company while it cooks in the oven. He started off with the usual suspects one can add such as potatoes (whose pseudonym is then tatties) and he then mentioned neeps using the commonly accepted vocable south of Hadrian’s wall, id est the swede.
Had Amaia not have to keep staring at the road for fear of veering off to the right side of the road, she would most certainly have interrogated us with her usual blank stare of bewilderedness and incredulity.